It Was In the Last Place I Looked

This is more of a quick quip about a funny little line we all say...It was in the last place I looked.

Have any of us ever stopped to wonder why our garage door opener, our left shoe, and our well hidden emergency credit card are always in the last place we looked?

If we did we would discover that its in the last place we look because once we find it...We don't have to look for it anymore...

If you are still on the eternal search to find your keys, make sure to look over there...and think before you speak...

God Will Provide

My grandfather was a preacher so I love a good spiritual joke with a moral ending.  Though this is an old one...it a good one.

A small town was starting to flood and a preacher came out of his church and went to see what was going on.  The water was up to his waist when a canoe came by.  The people in the canoe said, "Preacher the town in flooding.  We have room, get in and we can all get to safety."  The preacher shook his head and said, "No need.  You go on and get to dry land. God will provide for me."  The people in the canoe seemed shocked but they couldn't argue with the preacher so they moved on.

A while later the water had moved up to the preachers chest.  About this time a second boat came by.  "Preacher, we have room in our boat.  Please get in so that we can all get to safety," said the people in the boat.  Again, the pastor shook his head and told them to move on, "Don't worry for my safety.  I am a  man of god and god will provide for me during this dire time of need."  The second boat moved on.

The water rose and the preacher started to get nervous but he knew he was a good and decent man.  He wasn't about to let a flood no matter how bad waiver his faith.  The water was at the preachers neck and a third boat came around.  "Preacher, you have to get in the boat!  We are the last people left in town and if you don't come with us you could drown," the boaters said.  Once again the preacher just shook his head and said, "You go on with out me.  You aren't going to waiver my faith.  God will provide for me don't you worry one bit."  The boat moved on, the water continued to rise, and the preacher was washed away. 
The preacher goes to heaven and stands before God.  The preacher says, "God I don't understand.  I always spread your word.  I dedicated my life to you and I lived life right.  Yet in my greatest time of need you didn't provide for me.  Why weren't you there?  What did I do wrong to not deserve your help?" And god said, "Preacher, I sent you three boats.  What more did you want?

When you are giving advice and trying to be supportive and someone whips out the, God will provide, line on you...you will probably just drop the subject.  In your mind  you will probably be thinking well...your arms, legs, and mouth work so God must have given you something.  So, think of the joke above and move on with your day.

On the other hand if you actually find yourself using this saying because you mean it then think of this...

When things get bad a lot of times we get a certain idea of how things should turn out.  We set up scenarios in our mind and convince ourselves that everything has to work out in exactly one way and that if it doesn't then it won't work out at all.  Just because something doesn't fall into your lap or go the way you expect, it doesn't mean that it's not going the way it should.

Most importantly just because we aren't being handed what we want it doesn't mean the people around us aren't worried or don't love us.  Sometimes we are all guilty of not opening our eyes and seeing what has already been provided to us.  If you are able bodied and have an able mind you are already way ahead of most of the population...

Find appreciation in what you have...and always think before you speak...

I Need To Vent!

I need to vent!!!

Those are four words that can save your family, friends and the occasional random stranger a lot of grief if you are looking to unload a lot of emotion in a very short amount of time.  Its a special little free pass that lets all parties involved step out of the situation and not feel the need to be invested in whats about to be said.

We all know what these words mean...stand back and nod your head in agreement while I rant about whatever it is that has me on the verge of exploding and imploding all at the same time. 

These words are only valid if they are said first...  If you start to unload or flip out or whatever it is that you need to do and 10 minutes into it you say, "I just need to vent." It usually doesn't count any more.  If you don't say these words before you start you might as well not say them at all...they lose their magic.

When we unload on someone, normally we are pushing a boat load of emotion, typically negative, onto the person that is listening.  Telling them you need to vent puts up some sort of emotional screen, some type of special protective shield that lets the listener step outside of the situation and not absorb the emotion that you are pushing onto them.

So when the moment comes when you need to get it all out...be considerate to the person in your path...think before you speak...